Chat with lonely wives free
It was offered round the town at a tremendous reduction, so I am told; and was eventually sold for eighteenpence to a bilious - looking youth who had just been advised by his medical men to go to the sea - side, and take exercise. - said my brother - in - law, pressing the ticket affectionately into his hand; "why, you'll have enough to last you a lifetime; and as for exercise!
why, you'll get more exercise, sitting down on that ship, than you would turning somersaults on dry land."Another fellow I knew went for a week's voyage round the coast, and, before they started, the steward came to him to ask whether he would pay for each meal as he had it, or arrange beforehand for the whole series.
We sat there for half - an - hour, describing to each other our maladies.
I explained to George and William Harris how I felt when I got up in the morning, and William Harris told us how he felt when he went to bed; and George stood on the hearth - rug, and gave us a clever and powerful piece of acting, illustrative of how he felt in the night. Poppets knocked at the door to know if we were ready for supper.
Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I made it a hundred and forty - seven to the minute. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. Why I have not got housemaid's knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Then he opened me and looked down me, and clutched hold of my wrist, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn't expecting it - a cowardly thing to do, I call it - and immediately afterwards butted me with the side of his head.
I plodded conscientiously through the twenty - six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee. After a while, however, less grasping feelings prevailed. After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out. From my earliest infancy I have been a martyr to it.
He said for breakfast there would be fish, followed by a grill. Dinner at six - soup, fish, entree, joint, poultry, salad, sweets, cheese, and dessert. He pondered a good deal during the afternoon, and at one time it seemed to him that he had been eating nothing but boiled beef for weeks, and at other times it seemed that he must have been living on strawberries and cream for years. The announcement aroused no enthusiasm within him, but he felt that there was some of that two - pound - five to be worked off, and he held on to ropes and things and went down. Harris said that, to himself, it was always a mystery how people managed to get sick at sea - said he thought people must do it on purpose, from affectation - said he had often wished to be, but had never been able.
He took a return berth from London to Liverpool; and when he got to Liverpool, the only thing he was anxious about was to sell that return ticket.Vitus's Dance - found, as I expected, that I had that too, - began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically - read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. I have since been induced to come to the opinion that it must have been there all the time, and must have been beating, but I cannot account for it. I stuck it out as far as ever it would go, and I shut one eye, and tried to examine it with the other. He will get more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred of your ordinary, commonplace patients, with only one or two diseases each." So I went straight up and saw him, and he said: - I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me.Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for years. I patted myself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to my head, and I went a bit round each side, and a little way up the back. I could only see the tip, and the only thing that I could gain from that was to feel more certain than before that I had scarlet fever. He is an old chum of mine, and feels my pulse, and looks at my tongue, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I fancy I'm ill; so I thought I would do him a good turn by going to him now. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished.There were no more diseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me. I thought what an interesting case I must be fr om a medical point of view, what an acquisition I should be to a class! And, strange as it may appear, those clumps on the head often cured me - for the time being.Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma. I have known one clump on the head have more effect upon my liver, and make me feel more anxious to go straight away then and there, and do what was wanted to be done, without further loss of time, than a whole box of pills does now.
I agreed with George, and suggested that we should seek out some retired and old - world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half - forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint - perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far - off and faint. He said he knew the sort of place I meant; where everybody went to bed at eight o'clock, and you couldn't get a REFEREE for love or money, and had to walk ten miles to get your baccy.